Day 7- Describe Your Relationship with Your Parents/Siblings

I've been dreading this post just because it has the potential to get lengthy.  I'll try to be concise.

My dad probably would consider me the person he is closest to in the world.  A few thoughts about this:

1. He's probably right.
2. I don't feel the same way about him.
3. I doubt he has ever let himself ponder any of these things.

I don't think I'd be exaggerating if I said my father was emotionally abusive growing up.  I didn't realize how toxic that environment was until I came home after my first year of college.  I hate to say bad things, but they are also true things.  Dad is very much about appearances and not the real health of a relationship.  And he's quite self-serving.  He tends to blame everyone but himself.  He asked my mom for a divorce a year ago and told me that he blames my autistic brother for their marriage's demise (something I never want my brother to know!)  Sick and sad.  I feel such inner conflict when I'm around my dad.  I won't even touch on all the bad situations that have left me bitter.  I have forgiven him and I love him.  It's not as if I expect him to grovel at my feet and constantly apologize for what he's done.  But it does bother me that he acts as if everything is okay and he doesn't need to change.  I have good memories of him, but sadly the majority of them are from about 20 years ago.  We pray for my dad a lot.

My mom was my true best friend growing up.  I missed at least half of each school year 6-12th grades, because I was sick and in the hospital all the time.  While many of my friends were soaking in the catty environment of teenage angst, I was basking in the soothing, prayerful companionship of my humorous mom. :-)  She taught my brother and I compassion, always made us feel heard, and was loyal to my father even at his worst... truly an example of unconditional love.  Plus she was cool!  My friends loved that she would listen to the same music as us, even if she always misheard the lyrics.  Being married has changed our relationship slightly just because Kyle is the first person I turn to.  But she is definitely second!  I don't know what I would do without her!  Love you Kiwi!

Chisum... my brother.  Just as unique as his name.  People often talk about how Aspies (individuals with Asperger's syndrome) have difficulty showing empathy.  My brother breaks the mold!  He is so thoughtful and has these moments of such brilliant insight!  Yes, he usually communicates these reflections quite awkwardly, but sometimes I think that makes it even more poignant!  Sometimes the way he just blurts something out really bluntly has a way of clearing the air and I really appreciate it!  It is so opposite of me!  And let me tell you, he is one of the funniest most random people I know!  He calls me almost everyday to talk about nothing and will leave lengthy voice mails just to be irritating. :-)  We didn't fight a whole bunch as kids (normal sibling stuff), but we became really close when I was in high school.  He would sneak into my room late at night when he knew I'd be reading a book and he'd sit on the floor so we could talk about nothing/everything and listen to Loveline.  Such good memories!  He hands me a roll of Starburst Reds just about every time he and my mom come to visit and clumsily gets on the floor so Ander can steal his hat and play peek-a-boo with him.  I adore my brother!

15 Day Challenge