To God Be the Glory!

A friend from college wrote me the other day.  Apparently her 10 month old niece has been having strokes and they think that the whole left side of her brain is dead, therefore she seems to be blind and deaf on the right side.  The mother is having troubles coping.  A week before this diagnosis she was talking about having their second child, but now doesn't think she wants anymore kids.  My friend wanted to know how we cope and if we're scared that this new baby will have the same condition Ander has.


The coping thing is obviously going to be a little different from person to person, but I definitely think we need to be allowed to grieve.  Nobody hopes for a child with a disability.  We live in a fallen world and it sucks that it happens!  That being said, I have to give God the credit for the peace we have about Ander's blindness!  I don't think I would be facing the future so boldly if I didn't have Christ in my life.  I've learned that I can feel pain over a situation, but trust that God is looking out for us and wonderful things can come from horrible situations!

As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth.  "Teacher," his disciples asked him, "why was this man born blind? Was it a result of his own sins or those of his parents?"  "It was not because of his sins or his parents' sins," Jesus answered. "He was born blind so the power of God could be seen in him. -John 9:2-3

I am able to look at my afflictions as blessings, because I know God will be glorified through them!  Jesus went on to heal this man (just to be clear, I'm not holding on to that particular part of this story.  God doesn't have to heal Ander to be glorified!).   He then stood before the Pharisees and bravely proclaimed that Jesus must be God if he could do such a miracle.  This got him thrown out of the synagogue.  Talk about a beautiful witness!  Ander will have opportunities to be this kind of witness through his blindness as all of us have our own special opportunities because of how God made us!  This gives me both peace and courage.

You know, there are just some things that are all the more precious when there's a problem there.  The first time we put the piano keyboard in front of Ander I cried!  He was so happy and squealed with joy!  He was finally able to experience cause and effect.  This video is another example of how easy it is to take little things for granted... even the sound of our mother's voice!


Anyway, back to my friend's question about being worried for subsequent children.  The chances that any of my other children will have the same condition Ander has is pretty unlikely.  It's not genetic and it's not linked to my diabetes or anything else.  I looked up her niece's condition and it appears to be comparable in that it's not congenital or necessarily caused by anything preventable.  I'm not at all worried for this next baby.  If anything I think siblings are incredibly important for any child to have!  It's someone who can share your world.  Someone who experiences the same environment and events as you.  All the more important when you have a disability!  Someone to shoulder your load with you and give you a taste of normalcy, because they grow up knowing no different from their relationship with you.  In terms of other kids, siblings set examples of how to relate to the child with a disability.  I think if we were to stop with just Ander because we were afraid of having another blind kid, we would run the risk of focusing too much on his blindness and turning him into his condition.  No one should be defined by that and I see a lot of parents doing this very thing!  If we define him as being blind, then we limit him.  We want him to assimilate with other kids as much as possible and strive to do the things everyone else is able to do.  This of course has limitations, but I don't want him to not take up swimming because he can't see where he's going!  We'll learn to adapt and do things differently.  Let's not dwell in self-pity too long... lets find a way to make the life we want happen!