Tangles of my thoughts

I have this problem with blogs... I want so badly to adequately describe my thoughts that I turn them into too big of an obstacle for me to blog regularly as I'd like.  This problem has only gotten more difficult with a baby and then even more difficult when I'm so tired with another pregnancy.  Alas, here's my half-@$$ attempt at updating on *lots*.

Ander had his 6 month appointment with his eye specialist.  He didn't have to dilate his eyes and have them pried open with the little instrument this time, so that made the trip much less traumatic.  Nothing really new to report.  The doctor says that Ander definitely sees light (which we've already noticed).  Ander always gets so happy and smiley on his changing table and I finally realized that it's because he's looking at the light!  He absolutely loves windows.  He's such a happy baby.  He's working on sitting up by himself (not quite there yet!) and is rolling all over the place!  Whether I want him to or not, he is sleeping on his tummy.  He also has started solid foods and is not a picky eater at all!  He's eaten every single thing we've set in front of him and finished every last spoon full.

We are almost 15 weeks along with baby #2, which means end of the first trimester.  I sure hope the morning sickness and exhaustion leave with it!  The exhaustion never left with Ander, but I can hope right?  My morning sickness has been worse this time around.  My hair and nails have been growing faster (and no, not stronger).  I'm also shedding horribly.  If I were to believe old wives tales I might guess this is a girl.  Hmm, not sure if I'm willing to make that an absolute guess.  I don't want to be wrong.  We have our next ultrasound scheduled for July 29th.  We are making a tradition of having a "gender party" after we find out.  This involves family coming over to enjoy a cake which reveals if we're having pink or blue.  It was a lot of fun last year!  I hope Kyle's work schedule will jive with this.

I also hope I'm not pushing too much into a couple days time.  Kyle's brother is getting married in Oklahoma on August 7th and we will be headed down there on the 1st.  This has been kind of a headache to plan for.  It would have been much easier for everyone if they had the wedding up here. (Dustin or Li, if you're reading this, I apologize for sounding whiny.  I am excited for the big day!).  First of all, Kyle and I can't afford to fly down there.  Money is still tight.  So consequently, Kyle has to take a week off of work (which also costs).  It's a 2 day trip to get there by car and that's without an 8 month old!  I was very uncomfortable with the prospect of traveling that far with a potentially crabby, teething baby.  Fortunately, my mom is going to take Ander for the week (bless your heart mama!).  Next, Kyle's mom has chronic cancer and is also on dialysis 3 times a week.  Again, 2 days of travel kind of complicates things when you have to worry about your kidneys killing you!  The final thing that makes it more difficult is that Dustin and Li are indecisive (I love you guys!) and haven't planned much.  They have handed over the decorating stuff to us (us being Carol and McKenna and me giving my 2 cents here and there).  Oh boy...  If you ask me, they could have sold their Oklahoma friends a Montana vacation with the opportunity to go to Glacier Park and they totally would have made bank with wedding gifts if they had it in the small town Dustin grew up in!  But nonetheless, I've never been to Oklahoma and I am looking forward to a little vacation.

My final meanderings of the night... I don't even know what to say or how much!  Yesterday Kyle was given a job offer.  He started working as a CNA in the dementia ward of the Great Falls hospital 3 months ago.  He seems to have been doing well and even enjoying it!  For a little while we were up in the air whether or not to start looking for a house in Great Falls to save on gas (60 mile commute each way) or stay here with the hope to save enough money to build onto our house to support the size of family we want.  The most recent decision was to stay put.  We live in the country, love being near our families, adore our neighbors, we have a nice big area for a garden, lots of yard for our dopey dog to run around in, a bonfire pit, and a community we're very familiar with.  I could go on.  I love it here!  But Great Falls wouldn't have been too hard of a sell either.  It's still close enough to be considered home.

Back on track Whitney!  The job offer Kyle received is as the tech support guy at the college in Havre... two hours away from here.  I thought for sure he wouldn't even consider it, but.... *sigh*.  I am definitely a "roots" kind of girl.  I picture things, plan ahead, and make myself comfortable.  This flip-flop of where the future lies is exhausting!  My two initial concerns were 1.) Will Kyle enjoy this job to make it a career? and 2.) We have another baby on the way and our support system is here!  I'm scared to be alone with two babies and no help in sight!

So we've been praying.  I've gained some peace, but still am terrified of another change.  The college specifically asked for Kyle and want a decision early this next week.  I think we're headed up there on Tuesday to scout things out and learn more.  Kyle has assured me that if he were to start working up there, we could wait on moving till February or so.  His dad works there during weekdays and drives home to Conrad for the weekend, so Kyle would be able to stay with him.  And I could finish out the pregnancy here and have a couple months close to family and friends after the baby is born.  I'm happy to stay here, but not liking the prospect of not having Kyle during the week.  Then again, he currently is getting up at 3:30am to get ready for work.  He gets home around 4 (at the earliest) and then goes to bed by 7pm.  This job would eventually give us more time together.  Plus since it's a state school that means it's a government job and will pay more.  He wouldn't have to do the lifting he currently is as a CNA.  Please pray for us!  This is hard/exciting and I just don't know what to think.  I'm not looking forward to telling my mom or brother about this.  They are probably going to have difficulty with the idea too.