Kyle has been asleep in our room for two hours now (FYI- it's 9:15MST). He works tomorrow, which means he'll be up at 4am to make the commute to Great Falls. I love that man.
With pregnancy comes exhaustion, so I was ready to hit the hay with him. The only problem was our very social 5 month old. He's been getting better at "jabbering" rather than crying to let us know he needs us in the morning. But when it's bedtime and he wants to cuddle, or eat, or just have someone stand over his crib to watch him fall asleep he does what we call "sonar cries". They are half-hearted cries with large spaces between each other. It's as if he's purposely trying to sound pathetic and then listening to see if anyone is appreciating his patheticness (I don't think that's a word!). After a while he does one of two things. He either forgets to cry and falls asleep. Or the crying escalates and he's genuinely in need of comfort (or food... sometimes they are one in the same, right?) The later is what happened tonight. I fed him, burped him, gave him his binky, and put him in his crib while I sang to him.
Some parents say that it's possible to rock a baby to sleep and then skillfully put them in their crib without them noticing. This is not how my child operates. He may have been sound asleep, but Mr. Wiggles does this little nesting dance once he's in his crib. Kind of like dogs that turn around 3 times before laying down. One time I had Celtic lullaby music playing and Ander truly looked like he was dancing a jig. It was so ridiculously funny, the kid had no hope of falling asleep with me laughing at him. ANYWAY, I brought the laptop into the nursery so that I could quiet him down the few times he will inevitably fight sleep before giving in.
We had an ultrasound last week to give us a due date of baby #2. December 20th... just 15 days short of a year from Ander's due date. This means we are 8 weeks and 1 day along at this point. Ander came 4 and a half weeks early due to pre-eclampsia that started during week 32. I was comforted to hear that pre-eclampsia is most likely to happen during 1st pregnancies and that it doesn't indicate that I'll have it again during this one. I also wanted to ask our doctor about the possibility of doing a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section). He is a supporter of them. I love his attitude. We'll aim for a VBAC, unless circumstances become dangerous. I fully trust his decisions! I was also relieved to learn that he doesn't have a problem with doing a large number of c-sections. Some say more than 3 becomes dangerous, but let me tell you, this doctor is absolutely amazing at what he does! I always heard women talking about how horrible c-sections are, but mine healed very quickly and I am surprised at how small the scar actually is. Kyle and I want a big family, so I'm so thankful to have Dr. Key! I just hope he doesn't retire till the last kid is out the chute!
One last note on recent events. Today I received an e-mail from a former love-interest/friend whom I haven't heard from for 3 years. He wrote me an awkward e-mail right before Kyle and I got married. It kind of felt like musings over what could have been. No hard feelings from either party. I am so glad things never manifested into a real romantic relationship. I was too crazy about him to have kept myself grounded had any commitment ever been made. I ignored things for a long time and then finally realized during college that he had been masquerading as a believer, but really wasn't a Christian. I am crazy about Kyle, but the difference is I can let myself fall head over heals and know that he's grounded in truth and will catch me with godly love. The e-mail I got from this guy today really highlighted that fact. He's stripped his life down to the simplicities (which I admire), but now what he's left with are the voices of what has power over his life. And it's not God. He's an insightful person, but I wonder if he realizes where these self-criticizing thoughts and depression comes from if something else has power.
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